In a world that celebrates quick fixes and fast results, personal growth doesn’t always get the attention it deserves. It’s quiet, often invisible work, and it takes time. Lots of it.
We might understand this intellectually, but when we’re the one in the middle of change, trying to heal a relationship pattern, set new boundaries, manage anxiety differently, or attempting to speak to ourselves with more kindness, it’s easy to feel discouraged when things don’t shift as quickly as we hoped.
Patience as an active practice
Patience is a requisite for personal change. Not a passive form of patience where we wait around hoping something happens on its own, but an active, engaged type where we stay present with ourselves through the discomfort, the setbacks and the slow but steady progress that may be hard to measure at times.
Growth is not a straight line
Personal growth isn’t a straight line. It looks more like a spiral where we revisit familiar struggles but interact with them using new skills, new awareness, new attitudes and sometimes just a little more grace than we had the last time. That’s change and progress even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment.
The inner critic is loud, but not helpful
Sometimes we can be our own harshest critic. We may have an internal narrative saying things like “I should be past this by now.”, “Why am I still struggling with this?” or “Other people don’t seem to have this problem so what’s wrong with me?” Those thoughts, while normal, aren’t helpful. Growth asks us to meet ourselves with the same kindness we would offer to a friend. It asks us to notice the tiny shifts, how we pause before reacting, how we recover from a spiral more quickly, how we start to speak up even if quietly. Growth also asks us to have compassion with the difficulty, the uncertainty and the fear.
Significant growth takes time
Therapy, spiritual practices, journaling or mindful self-reflection can all support meaningful change but none of them work instantly. That doesn’t mean they’re not working. Usually, the more significant the change, the longer it takes. We’re not just building new habits but we’re untangling years of conditioning, mindsets, insecurities, patterns of thinking and survival strategies that once served us but no longer do. There’s something sacred in the slowness and deliberateness it requires.
You’re not failing. You’re becoming.
If you’re feeling frustrated that you’re not “there yet,” and feel you won’t ever “get there,” I offer you this reminder: you are not failing. You’re becoming. And becoming takes time. Real and lasting growth isn’t about fixing yourself but discovering who you are under the protective layers you’ve unknowingly built up to feel safe. That’s meaningful and important work and it can’t be rushed.
Be patient with the parts of you that are still learning how to trust, how to open, how to feel and how to soften. You’re doing the work and making progress even when results feel absent. Especially then. Be gentle and keep going. It’s worth the trip.