A blog reader writes, “Hi I’m a 45 yr. old woman living alone.  For about 8 yrs my mother has become very controlling.  She insists I move closer to her so I can be with family more.  She doesn’t take into consideration I have a life and a job.  How do I tell her no without hurting her feelings and still keep my boundaries?”

What are Boundaries?

A boundary is a psychological (and sometimes physical) distance making it possible to define who you are, what you need and where you’re headed.  It is the necessary space required to stay connected to self and all that is needed for happiness, health, and growth.  When people disrespect our boundaries, or if we don’t set them for ourselves, we lose some understanding of who we are which then affects our relationships and pursuits.  Boundaries are the playing field for people to discover who they are and who they are to become.

Struggling With Setting Boundaries? Schedule an Appointment to Start Your Journey Out of This Dilemma.

Relationships that pose the greatest challenge to setting boundaries are typically with parents and significant others.  In this case, the question is regarding a mother that has not taken no for an answer and is not respecting the adult child’s choice of where to live.  (more…)

Filed under: Blog by Sylvia

Often in life, we take aim at things because we feel driven or feel pulled.  Feelings, whether they be passion, obligation, guilt or fear are often the motivators behind many pursuits in life.  I venture to say that most of us don’t really question the feelings which spur ambition and don’t honestly examine whether our goals are truly in our best interest.  While some people seem to soar effortlessly towards a chosen target, all of us at one time or another find ourselves slogging towards a vague objective we keep telling ourselves is noble and worthwhile.   But is it and how do we know if it is?  Part of honesty and self-understanding is taking the time to examine our feelings and motivations behind our chosen objectives in life.  (more…)

Filed under: San Diego Therapist Blog by Sylvia

Texting and How It Can Affect Relationships

Guest blogger Geoffrey Faustman, MA, IMF offers the following insights on texting and how it can impact relationships.  Geoffrey is a registered Marriage & Family Therapist intern with over 1500 hours of experience and offers counseling services at affordable rates.  For more information on Geoffrey and his counseling services, please visit his website at www.geoffreyfaustman.com or see his page on my website HERE.

The Impact of Text Messaging

Text messaging had become one of the foremost means of communicating in society today. It certainly has its benefits—it’s quick, to the point, and instant. One can send off a text almost anywhere and anytime. It’s very helpful for making plans or sending a visual record for making plans (addresses or times to meet) and other exchanges of important information.

However, it has been found that texting can also be detrimental to relationships, especially when it is used as a primary form of communication. Many people have explained that it has actually created additional strain on their relationships, mostly because of the limits of texting communication triggering anxiety.

If Texting is Causing a Strain on Your Relationship, Contact San Diego Therapy For Help 

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Filed under: Blog by Sylvia

Many clients come to counseling wanting to address what they already know to be emotional abuse.  Others seek out therapy led by their intuition not yet able to name the dynamic taking place with their partner that often worsens with time.  Unfortunately, a large percentage of clients ultimately choose to remain in an emotionally abusive relationship but there are many who take the steps towards well-being and leave the toxic relationship behind.    (more…)

Filed under: San Diego Therapist Blog by Sylvia

Difficult Family Members: Dealing and Coping

We either have them or know someone who has them.  We’ve seen them humorously or dramatically portrayed on stage or TV, read about them in books or have listened to friends describe their all too colorful experiences.   Whether it’s the embarrassing uncle who drinks too much, the domineering sibling, the critical father, dismissive mother or the creepy cousin, most families have at least one difficult-to-navigate family member and sometimes a whole crazy bunch.  With the holidays around the corner, this is a time when anxieties and tempers often flair and moods are prone to dip.  I hope the following tips are helpful if you find yourself facing time spent with challenging or toxic family members.  (more…)

Filed under: San Diego Therapist Blog by Sylvia