A blog reader writes, “Hi I’m a 45 yr. old woman living alone. For about 8 yrs my mother has become very controlling. She insists I move closer to her so I can be with family more. She doesn’t take into consideration I have a life and a job. How do I tell her no without hurting her feelings and still keep my boundaries?”
What are Boundaries?
A boundary is a psychological (and sometimes physical) distance making it possible to define who you are, what you need and where you’re headed. It is the necessary space required to stay connected to self and all that is needed for happiness, health, and growth. When people disrespect our boundaries, or if we don’t set them for ourselves, we lose some understanding of who we are which then affects our relationships and pursuits. Boundaries are the playing field for people to discover who they are and who they are to become.
Relationships that pose the greatest challenge to setting boundaries are typically with parents and significant others. In this case, the question is regarding a mother that has not taken no for an answer and is not respecting the adult child’s choice of where to live. (more…)