Codependency, or “over-functioning” as I like to call it, is a relational pattern that often goes unnoticed, subtly entwining individuals in a complex web of behaviors and emotions. In essence, it’s a dysfunctional reliance on another person for approval, validation, and a sense of identity. Often seen in close relationships, codependency can have detrimental effects on both the individual and the dynamics of the relationship.
In the intricate dance of codependency, individuals may lose sight of their own needs and desires, prioritizing the needs of others above their own. This self-neglect can lead to feelings of resentment, low self-esteem, and a constant seeking of external validation. The codependent person might find themselves entangled in a cycle of trying to fix or control a situation or person, often sacrificing their own well-being in the process. The attempt to say “no” or set boundaries is often paired with a feeling of guilt that leads to further accommodating behavior which later leads to resentment and exhaustion.
Within relationships, codependency can create an unhealthy imbalance, fostering an environment where boundaries are blurred and personal growth becomes stifled. This dynamic often leads to a strain on relationships, inhibiting personal growth and individuation and preventing a healthy interdependence to develop. A codependent relationship also fosters resentment and emotional exhaustion for both parties involved.
Therapeutic Approaches for Codependency
Therapy can play a pivotal role in addressing codependency by providing a safe space for individuals to explore their thought patterns, emotions, and behaviors. I employ various techniques and utilize different therapeutic approaches when working with individuals who over-function, such as:
- Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
- Reality Therapy
- Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT)
- Existential Therapy
- Person-Centered Therapy
- Mindfulness Based Therapies
- Systemic Therapy
- Attachment Theory
I tailor my work and approach to the unique needs of each individual since no two people or situations are alike.
One key aspect of therapy for codependency involves fostering self-awareness. Clients learn to recognize and understand their own needs, values, and boundaries, allowing them to assert themselves in a healthy manner within their relationships. They come to understand the primary responsibility to themselves and their personal growth and development. I support and encourage clients to develop healthier coping mechanisms, improve self-esteem, and establish and maintain boundaries.
Therapy with me also offers a platform for exploring past experiences and family dynamics that may have contributed to the development of codependent behaviors. By understanding the roots of these patterns, individuals can begin to untangle themselves from the cycle and cultivate healthier ways of relating to themselves and others. This is a big step towards individuation.
I work to help individuals break free from the grip of codependency which allows healthy independence and inter-dependence, self-assurance, and a deeper understanding of one’s own worth. Through this process, individuals can learn to create balanced, fulfilling relationships built on mutual respect, healthy boundaries, and authentic connection. When an individual addresses their codependent patterns, they embark on a journey of self-discovery and growth, enabling them to reclaim their autonomy and foster healthier, more fulfilling relationships.