There are times in life when working with an experienced therapist is a good option for re-framing life’s experiences or dealing with difficult situations and issues. You might be considering counseling to better manage a difficult circumstance, improve a relationship, or adjust to a life transition. Yet, prior to seeking individual counseling, you may feel a sense of uneasiness as you wonder what you can expect from your therapy sessions. I do my best to provide a safe, non-judgmental space in which you can reflect, explore, increase insight and plan approaches which lend itself to better peace of mind, improved relationships and increased satisfaction with self. (more…)
Forgiveness is a tough subject. Some of us navigate it fairly well, but most of us have a contentious relationship with the act of forgiving. I think part of the challenge of forgiving is due partially to misunderstanding what forgiveness really is and how it can benefit us.
What are the Benefits of Forgiveness?
- Forgiveness frees us from the bitterness of holding on to anger or a grudge that keeps us from positively viewing others, relationships and the world around us. The Buddha said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” When we forgive someone, we can take that energy and direct it back towards our own life. We can restore more positive thinking and a better state of mind. (more…)
Deciding to seek the services of a counselor is a big step in the right direction when you want an empathetic listening ear. A qualified therapist is trained to provide you with insight and tools to improve your life, relationships and major life changes. Yet, you may be confused about how to choose the best counselor. Finding a counselor doesn’t have to be a series of trial and error when you know some key things for which to look.
Codependency is an often used, but frequently misunderstood term. It is a form of dependency, but it also differs from dependency. “Dependency” in and of itself is not a bad thing and doesn’t automatically imply weakness. It is healthy to be vulnerable in relationship and allow yourself to depend on another at times. A certain amount of dependence, vulnerability and reliance upon another is necessary for a successful partnership. A healthy relationship requires a mixture of self-care and care of another and necessitates healthy boundaries giving knowledge of when to say “yes” and when to say “no”.
It is true that codependency is a form of dependency, but the “co” implies two people are dependent on each other in different ways. In a nutshell, a codependent gives, rescues, enables and over-functions and the other person is in some capacity dependent upon and under-functioning in the relationship. A codependent is mostly focused on another person to the detriment of him or herself. I like the following definition of codependency: (more…)
Every relationship has some difficulties. And, every person has their limitations and challenges. In my sessions, I often jokingly, but seriously, point out that “the fleas come with the dog” when someone is annoyed with their significant other over insignificant issues. But, how many fleas are too many? The answer to this question can save you a lot of time and perhaps heartache. I see many individuals and couples trying to fit a square peg into a round hole when it comes to relationship compatibility.
There is no magic formula to answer the above question, but there is a pretty good outline to help you reach a trustworthy conclusion. First off, you should have a good understanding of who you are… basic insight into your values, goals, dreams, and lifestyle and what you need in a partner. And, coupled with that should be the ability to set boundaries when called for. It’s necessary in a relationship that each person can communicate effectively about who they are, what they’re feeling, and what they need. (more…)