Coping with a Breakup

How to Cope with a Breakup

Breakups can be incredibly painful, and the emotional toll they take can feel overwhelming. Whether the breakup was unexpected, or even initiated by you, the aftermath can bring about a host of negative emotions and even physical repercussions. As a therapist and a human being, I understand that healing from a breakup can be a long and arduous process. In this blog post, I’ll explore effective strategies and coping mechanisms to help you navigate a breakup and move towards a place of healing and acceptance.

1. Allow Yourself to Grieve

It’s essential to acknowledge your experience and allow yourself to grieve after a breakup. This is a natural part of any loss. Give yourself permission to feel the pain, sadness, fear and anger that often accompany a breakup. These emotions are normal and suppressing them can prolong the healing process. It’s true you don’t want to stay in those emotions for a long period of time and drop your anchor in the experience, but normalizing the range of emotions after a breakup is an important step in the process.

2. Seek Support

If you’re experiencing the aftermath of a breakup, reaching out to friends, family, or a mental health therapist can be a lifeline. Sharing your feelings and thoughts with someone you trust can provide emotional relief and support. Sometimes we just need to talk it out… sometimes over and over again. Being seen and heard by people you know care about you, value you, and want what’s best for you is a critical piece of healing.

3. Self-Care Is Vital

Take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Engage in self-care routines that help you relax and reduce stress. This might include exercise, meditation, deep breathing exercises, or hobbies that bring you joy and get you out of your head. Getting enough sleep, moving your body, and eating well are also important factors involved in self-care. Taking care of yourself in body, mind, and spirit will help you maintain the buoyancy you need to move through the pain of loss more effectively.

4. Set Healthy Boundaries

After a breakup, it’s crucial to establish and maintain healthy boundaries. This means limiting or cutting off contact with your ex-partner, at least for a while, to allow for emotional healing. Setting boundaries with mutual friends may also help create space for personal growth. It’s imperative you don’t engage in social media by looking at your ex-partner’s profiles or pages. If you don’t feel you have the strength to not look, consider blocking your ex. Resist the temptation to ask others about your ex because any form of information will lead to an increase in pain and set you back.

5. Reflect and Learn

Breakups provide an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth. Take time to consider what you’ve learned from the relationship and the breakup. What are the positive aspects you want to carry forward into future relationships, and what are the areas where you’d like to grow and improve?

6. Focus on the Present and Future

While it’s essential to reflect on the past, it’s equally important to focus on the present and future. Set new goals and aspirations for yourself. Rediscover your passions and interests that may have taken a backseat during the relationship. This may be hard so make goals that are small and manageable and hold yourself accountable to this growth. This is an opportunity to redefine your life and identity.

7. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness techniques can be incredibly helpful during the healing process. Mindfulness involves staying in the present moment, accepting your feelings without judgment, and letting go of the past. It can help reduce anxiety and stress while promoting emotional healing. It helps create a feeling of peace that you can access when you get triggered. Practice at least 20 minutes a day. Join an in-person or online meditation group if you want support in this practice.

8. Utilize Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a valuable tool to utilize after a breakup. It can help you recognize and challenge negative thought patterns. It encourages a healthier perspective, tackling feelings of unworthiness, rumination, or catastrophic thinking. CBT will help equip you with practical coping mechanisms to manage distressing emotions and fosters emotional resilience. By addressing both cognitive distortions and maladaptive behaviors, CBT can empower you to regain control over your emotional well-being, facilitating a smoother path to healing after a breakup. If you don’t work with a therapist, there are many books to help you use it on your own.

9. Avoid Rebound Relationships

Rebounding into a new relationship immediately after a breakup might seem tempting, but it often hinders the healing process. Give yourself time to heal and regain emotional stability before considering a new relationship. Rushing into a new romance can be a distraction from the necessary self-work.

10. Journal Your Feelings

Writing down your thoughts and feelings in a journal can be a therapeutic way to process your emotions. It provides a safe and private space for self-reflection and can help you gain clarity about your feelings and experiences. It’s also a good opportunity to bring attention to what you’re grateful for.

11. Seek Professional Help

Sometimes, the pain and emotions following a breakup can be overwhelming, and self-help strategies may not be enough. In such cases, it’s beneficial to seek professional help from a mental health therapist or counselor who can provide you with tailored support and guidance.


Coping with a breakup is a challenging journey, but with the right strategies and support, you can emerge from it stronger and more resilient. Remember that healing is a process, and it’s perfectly okay to take the time you need to recover and rediscover yourself. By allowing yourself to grieve, seeking support, practicing self-care, and focusing on personal growth, you can navigate the path to emotional recovery and look forward to a brighter future.

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I offer individual counseling, couples therapy and premarital counseling. The issues I work with are diverse and range from problems arising from sudden circumstantial changes to long standing and complex struggles. My approach to counseling is varied since individual needs and circumstances inform the methods I use. I don’t approach any two people the same and personalize my methods for each situation and client. Click the button below to book a session and we can begin your journey to rediscovery.


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