Reasons to See a Marriage Counselor

8 Reasons to See a Marriage Counselor

Marriage is not always easy and involves navigating life’s ups and downs and personal struggles while maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner. Falling in love and getting married can be relatively simple, but maintaining a strong marriage is often challenging. Commitment and healthy communication are two traits that help yield a happy marriage, but problems often arise when either of them is lacking in a relationship.

As the marriage rates drop every year in the U.S, divorce rates are on the rise and close to 50% of all marriages will end in divorce. 41% of first marriages, 60% of second marriages, and 73% of third marriages end in divorce for various reasons. Lacking the appropriate tools to maintain a healthy marital relationship is among the causes of divorce and separation. Seeking help from a professional marriage counselor can help provide a lasting solution to your relationship issues. I’m a marriage counselor in California and can support you and your partner to find healthier ways of handling your relationship problems.

Here’s what is important to know about marriage therapy and some signs indicating you might consider seeking the support of marriage counselors.

What Is Marriage Counseling?

Marriage and couples counseling allow partners to connect and communicate with one another better. Couples counseling is short-term psychotherapy helping partners identify problems, resolve conflicts, get to the core of arguments and improve their relationship. It facilitates the ability for each individual to make the best decision regarding their relationship. While the goal is almost always reparation and increased relationship satisfaction, some couples decide they are better to separate and couples counseling can help bring that decision about amicably. Couples should be able to direct the course of their counseling ranging from premarital counseling, relationship counseling and counseling to discuss the particulars during divorce therapy.

When Should You Seek Marriage Counseling?

The stigma surrounding family therapy, marriage counseling or couples counseling as an option for the weak or disturbed has stood out for many years. Times have changed, and people have grown to appreciate counseling as a healthy and helpful resource. It is a go-to option for couples that want to reinforce their communication and strengthen their bond. Some of the signs that you should visit the San Diego, CA couples therapist include:

  1. Negative, Toxic Communication, Or No Communication at All

    When you and your partner hardly speak to each other or are reluctant to share your thoughts, ideas, feelings and experiences, a marriage counselor would be a great option. If your partner ends up feeling depressed, disregarded, or insecure due to communication patterns this can dead to the demise of your relationship.

  2. Absence Of Physical and Emotional Intimacy

    Improving intimacy between you and your partner will help maintain a healthy marriage. Poor intimacy generally indicates there is a problem in the relationship, and seeking professional assistance could be the best solution. If you and your partner feel more like roommates than a married couple it’s time to seek support.

  3. Keeping Secrets from Your Partner

    Honesty and transparency are vital in maintaining a happy relationship with your partner. Keeping secrets and failing to share thoughts and experiences with your partner can destroy your marriage. Therapy can be a critical step towards restoring openness and transparency.

  4. Having An Affair with Someone

    Having an extra-marital affair, whether it’s sexual or emotional, indicates there is something crucial missing in the relationship. The affair itself is never the problem but merely a symptom. Visiting a San Diego marriage counselor may save your relationship before or after an emotional or sexual affair has taken place.

  5. Restricting Love as a Form of Punishment

    Failing to reciprocate your partner’s love and affection or ignoring them because you are angry can complicate your relationship and lead to further disconnection. Marriage counseling can restore affection, trust and understanding and restore a healthy relationship.

  6. Being Financially Unfaithful

    Being dishonest about your finances or hiding information about your financial matters indicates a problem in your marriage. It may be a lack of trust, attempt to control, indirect expression of feelings or incompatible financial values. Share information about your expenses, loans, and savings with your partner and come up with an agreed upon budget. If you have differing values as it relates to finances, couples or marriage counseling can be a good place to explore those differences.

  7. Blaming Your Partner

    Treating your spouse as an enemy whenever you argue or disagree almost always leads to further problems in a relationship. A San Diego marriage counselor can help you communicate more effectively and regulate the emotions and beliefs which lead to arguments comprised of blame and defense.

Marriage Counselor in California

Sylvia Flanagan is a licensed marriage and family therapist with over 20 years of experience offering therapy to individuals and couples in the San Diego area. A marriage counselor or therapist is an intermediary, supporting you and your partner to better communicate and sort out issues. Contact Sylvia’s office at (619)-318-1901 to schedule an appointment or schedule online now.

Get Started Today

I offer individual counseling, couples therapy and premarital counseling. The issues I work with are diverse and range from problems arising from sudden circumstantial changes to long standing and complex struggles. My approach to counseling is varied since individual needs and circumstances inform the methods I use. I don’t approach any two people the same and personalize my methods for each situation and client. Click the button below to book a session and we can begin your journey to rediscovery.


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