Know What You Can Change and Effect It!

Know What You Can Change and Effect It!

There are only two ways to approach life – with action or inaction.  Too often, people don’t strive for what they need or want because they doubt their abilities or are afraid.  You can’t always help it in the moment if you fear something, but you can make sure you don’t become a victim to your own thoughts or by how someone else defines you or what they believe you’re capable of.  Staying fluid in life takes a lot of work, but can be made easier by keeping some key points in mind.  As a San Diego therapist, I see people frozen from their own beliefs or fears more often than I would like.  The below guide is a basic list to keep in mind to avoid stagnation and keep moving in ways defined by you.

Key Points for Empowerment

Understand your Needs – Until you have a clear idea of what you need and want, you won’t be as effective or know what requires change.

Maintain a Positive Attitude – Keeping tabs on your attitude is crucial!  If you are feeling defeated, hopeless, or dis-empowered, it’s very important to counter this negativity with self-talk, talking with others, exercise, sleep, and fun.

Understand What You Can and Cannot Change – This is part of the wisdom behind change.  Step back and delineate what you have no control over and what you can exert influence over.  Yes, there are things we are powerless against, but a lot which you can influence and create change from.

Seek the Support of Others – As John Dunne said, “No man is an island”.  We do best when we don’t isolate.  Ideas and energy are often enhanced when around others who care for us.  Of course, whether you are introverted or extroverted will influence how much you will comfortably spend time with others, but too much time alone often leads to decreased mood, energy and creativity.  Therapy is one form of support.  If you are seeking San Diego therapy, feel free to contact me for information or additional referrals.

Have Insight into Your Inside World – Identify fears, insecurities and address them so they don’t stop you. Having insight into your emotional world will help you care for yourself and stay on target.  We can’t automatically take away fears and insecurities, but if we have an eye out for them, we can address them immediately when they surface.

Resources – Community, energy (sleep, food, exercise), and faith.  Know the basic resources for you to function optimally in any situation.  These are the basics, but expand and personalize them as you solidify your foundation.

There are no guarantees in life, but you can feel good about trying.  Steer clear of being a victim to circumstances, your own thoughts or the beliefs that others may have about your abilities.  Hopefully, by using the above outline, you can identify your needs, fears, and gather your energy, support and positive attitude to strive for what you want in life.  Often the journey is muddled, but don’t’ give up.  You may have to detour in ways you didn’t expect, but as long as you keep moving in ways defined by you, you succeed.

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I offer individual counseling, couples therapy and premarital counseling. The issues I work with are diverse and range from problems arising from sudden circumstantial changes to long standing and complex struggles. My approach to counseling is varied since individual needs and circumstances inform the methods I use. I don’t approach any two people the same and personalize my methods for each situation and client. Click the button below to book a session and we can begin your journey to rediscovery.


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